Veni Vidi Amavi
We came. We Saw. We Loved.
I’ve been back in the states for a couple of days now and as always after travel I find myself reevaluating where I am and where I want to be. This trip was so much different and wonderful than I could have ever hoped for. I found out so much more about myself than I ever could have imagined.
I haven’t been out of the country since my autoimmune disease diagnosis. I needed time to understand it and get to a place where my body and my mind were strong enough to handle lengthy trips again. I was beyond nervous as I had been having a horrible flare up for several weeks before leaving and didn’t know if the doctors would clear me. I barely scraped by with clearance just a day before I was supposed to leave. There were times during the trip where I could feel my body aching and tiring too quickly but overall I felt more like myself than ever. I won’t say my old self though because that self was broken, confused, and very lost. I’ve never been ashamed of where I’ve been or who I’ve been…it’s all a part of me and a part of my story and I appreciate those parts the most as they helped me claw my way out of the little shell I had glued and stapled myself into. This trip managed to rip off the small remnants that were still bandaged on.
Brussels forced me out of comfort zone like no other trip ever had. It provided a feeling of liberation as I learned to fly by the seat of my pants again and to not be afraid of what comes next. There was no plan- a very not me move. Every day brought on a new adventure with different twists and turns that I could have never anticipated. I had the most resistance with Brussels as it was so far out of my comfort zone and with that I found more freedom and the ability to resolve my emotions.
Dublin captivated me. I was in awe at the beauty of the cliffs of Moher and the ruins of the Rock Cashel. The stunning grounds of Blarney found the magical spark I thought had gone out long ago as the history flooded through every tree and rock. The streets of Dublin and the swans captured my heart in a way I don’t think I will ever be able to fully describe as I lived out the perfect movie scene day after day.
London reminded me just how connected we all are. We were all so different, but together we blended into the most imperfect mesh of culture, society, and humanity. I got to be Alice, meet the more sophisticated London version of me, conquer fears, get tattooed, and eat foods from all over. London, most of all, felt like home. Some city, some art, and the ease of walking around a place that seemed so familiar yet very new.
And I got to do it all with my best friend by my side as she kept me wild and I kept her safe.